What's Left Of Us - Finchel AU
by MoncheleFan
Summary: Set after Rachel and Finn break up, but somehow keep messing around each n this last?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1**

"**What's Left Of Us"**

**Finchel Fic**

**I had this really great idea, and then I saw a post on tumblr, and I couldn't help myself because I mean it's something I couldn't pass up. **

'**Set after Rachel and Finn break up, but somehow keep messing around each other….can this last?'**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything! **

**Ratings: Definitely M! Especially for language. Sorry for my sailors mouth.**

**Chapter 1**

It had been exactly 2 weeks since Rachel broke up with Finn. Everything in her body ached…she knew it was the right thing to do, but even so her mind, body, and heart ached for him. Brody had tried contacting her, but she honestly didn't need that right now. She wasn't in the mood for another guy, even though she was at fault…she let him kiss her, and she kissed him back. But right at this moment, everything revolved around Finn.

"Finn on your mind?"

Her head snapped up to see Kurt, sitting on his bed, and staring at her with a cup of coffee in his hands.

God was she that obvious?

She just shrugged, mainly because she wasn't in the mood to get all sappy, and honestly she felt like she would cry.

"A lot of things…" She said in all honesty. Because it wasn't just Finn that was making their way into her mind.

"Want to order pizza?"

Rachel just scrunched her nose and shook her head, standing up, grabbing her purse, and heading out the door.

"No…I'm going to go for a walk…"

"Rach, it's 11 at night, don't you think it's not safe for you to go walking the streets of New York…let me come with you at least…"

Rachel stopped in her tracks and shook her head "No!"

Kurt's face almost did a double take, and seemed upset at her words.

"I'm sorry, I just meant that I need to be alone, and I won't go too far, I have my mace and whistle, please….I just need to be alone." She said hoping he understood it wasn't about him.

It seemed like Kurt got the hint and nodded at her.

Before he could say anything else, she was out the door.

She exhaled as she breathed in the fresh air.

She ran….ran for what felt like forever, but was only a few minutes.

"Watch it!" A girl said as Rachel zoomed right past her, making Rachel turn and bump really hard against someone.

"Ouch…." The other person said loudly.

"I'm so sorry!" Rachel said turning to look at the person she crashed into.

"You know you really should watch where you-."

She was dusting herself off, but looked up to see why the person had stopped talking. Her eyes went wide when she realized that that said person was Finn.

She knew it sounded too familiar. He seemed to be having the exact same reaction as her.

"Rachel." Was all that came out of his mouth.

"Finn…." Rachel couldn't believe her eyes, even after a few seconds she realized it wasn't just a dream. But why was he here in New York? "You're here….I mean obviously, but I mean in New York?"

Finn nodded, shuffling his feet…what he always did when he was nervous or uncomfortable. And placing his hands inside his jean pockets. "I just moved."

Rachel's heart skipped a few beats. Had he moved for her?

"No…It's not what you think." He said rather quickly, almost as if he read her mind. "I didn't do it for you….you broke up with me remember?" He said that last bit almost bitterly.

She bit her lip, and nodded hoping to ease his comfort.

"Kurt scored me a job at this café, and it makes extra cash while I try and get back into the studio for acting." He made a face, almost like he hadn't wanted to share all that with her. "Anyway, what are you doing out this late?"

She gulped feeling a bit nervous all of a sudden.

"meeting your new boyfriend?" he said now not caring to sound completely rude.

Rachel wanted to be anywhere else right now, he was looking at her as if he hated her, as if she was the worst person in the entire world, and she felt like that honestly.

She just shook her head "We aren't together…." She wasn't sure why she had the need to let him know that, but she did.

Finn just stared back at her, he wasn't even sure how to take that, and from the looks of it neither did she.

"Where are you staying?" She asked, deciding to ignore his question of her being out this late.

"Kurt's dad got me a good deal with his buddy, and his friend got me a great condo for little rent while I get myself on my feet."

Rachel just nodded, realizing how cold she was. "Ummm, are you busy right now?"

Finn furrowed his brow, and looked at her up and down. It was hard not to check her out…I mean Rachel had really grown up while here in New York, he just wasn't sure if it was good or bad.

He shook his head, curious as to why she wanted to know that.

"Coffee?" Her little voice piped up.

He was hesitant, but he honestly could use a cup, and she seemed to be a bit cold, as much as he didn't want to hang out with the girl he was still in love with….he was still a nice guy, and he didn't want to say no to her while she was giving him that sweet look.

He nodded "I could use a cup…"

Rachel smiled and led the way.

0o0

The walk to the coffee shop was a bit quiet, but once they arrived at the coffee place, which Finn still found so odd that was open this late, given that it was past midnight now.

He stared at her clothing, he was just still so shocked at how much her appearance had changed.

"I still can't get over the fact at how much you've changed…." Finn stared at her.

Rachel just nodded, grabbing the cup of coffee and warming her hands with it.

"You have too…." She said softly, looking at him. His time at the war definitely showed on his appearance, he seemed almost tougher, and he had lost weight. But he also dressed more mature.

He shrugged "Not as much as you…." He said looking down at her outfit.

She licked her lips "We all change Finn."

He shook his head, "I get that…but I just….the fact that you broke up with me so—suddenly, I just it felt like you were doing it for him."

Rachel squinted her eyes "What? No! Finn it had nothing to do with Brody and you know that! You didn't contact me for over 2 months."

Finn sighed and shook his head "Are we on this again? I had told you what happened! I am so sick of hearing you blame that excuse as to why you changed like that."

Rachel just sighed looking down at her cup, "Keep it down…." She said looking around at the few people that were starting to look their way.

"I'm sorry, I just….I hate this." He said in the saddest voice Rachel had heard. "It's not fair…"

Rachel just sighed, "maybe this wasn't such a good idea…" Rachel said standing up.

Finn followed her out, not even trying to stop her, because honestly he didn't think it was the best idea.

She turned to face him. "You are the most stubborn guy I know!" She yelled, luckily no one was around them, so she felt the urge to just yell at him.

"I am!? How is that possible, when you are the one who feels like that was the right thing to do and you wouldn't even listen to me."

"ugh! I can't talk to you!" She said throwing her hands up.

She turned to not face him. What she wasn't expecting was his hands on her waist, and squeezing her, making her turn around to face him.

She stared up at him, and opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came out.

She let his hands wander her body, it was almost like they had never left each other. She hadn't realized how much she missed his touch, those hands on her skin, the way he brushed his thumb on her neck and gave her goosebumps.

Her hands wrapped around his neck, and tugged on his collar, pulling him down, his hands landing on the small of her back and pulling her up to kiss her.

His tongue pushing it's way into her mouth, and not even having a fight put up with her, as she allowed him to do so.

They kissed for a while, every so often he would sigh into her mouth, and she would catch a whiff of his cologne with a mixture of sweat.

She finally parted and stared up at him. Putting her hand up to her mouth and touching the hot tender spot where they had just been playing around with.

"What the hell was that?" Rachel said, even though she too was at fault.

Finn licked his dry lips and stared at her .

"I don't know…does it have to mean anything?"

Rachel wasn't sure what he meant about that, but she found herself shrugging.

"I'll walk you home…" He said easing the tension and walking her towards her place.

What the hell was that?

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The knock on her door caught her off guard, it was pretty late and she wasn't expecting anyone. She had been laying in bed that night thinking of what had just happened not even 2 hours previous. Finn had kissed her, and she gave in.

Wasn't she the one who flew all the way to Lima to tell him she was done? She closed her eyes as she looked over to see that it was 3 am, god she hadn't even been able to sleep after Finn had dropped her off.

It was one of those awkward 'okay, see you later?' kind of deals, where they both were so confused as to what they should say to each other. That kiss had been passionate, and full of want…but now she was just as confused as before.

She looked to see through Kurt's curtain, he was fast asleep…wow he hadn't even woke up to hear that knocking.

She walked over, and slid the door open….Finn's groggy looking face was staring back at her. What the heck was he doing back here?

She felt a little insecure when she realized she was in her most horrid pajamas. But he didn't seem to mind.

"Hi…"

She just stared at him, and wanted to groan…even that one word made her knees weak. Wasn't she supposed to have the opposite effect?

So why did she find herself opening the door for him to come in? She wanted to curse herself when he accepted and entered through the doors. He still had on the same outfit as before. But his eyes looked puffy, which meant he was probably as exhausted as Rachel…but it seemed like he couldn't go to bed either.

She pointed to her bedroom, and put her finger to her lips to make sure he knew he couldn't talk loudly as to not wake Kurt up.

He nodded and tip toed his way, following her to her side of the room.

She closed the curtain, as if that would help any with noise levels.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered quietly to him.

He shrugged, and sat down on the small chair she had in the corner.

"Not sure…I went back to the condo, and it was so dark and dingy. Then I remembered how even though this place is small and isn't much brighter than mine…it had you."

She gulped, feeling all of a sudden sick to her stomach. Damn him for being so smooth.

"What I meant…" He said realizing that sounded as cheesy as he thought it did, plus he didn't want to scare her. "Is that I just…I wanted to see you, I wanted to end the night with you…" He saw the way she shifted her hips "Not like that…I just meant, I just." He sighed, realizing what he wanted to say was definitely not coming out the way he wanted it to.

"You just wanted to stay here?" She asked, knowing what he was getting at.

He licked his lip and looked down, almost as if he were too embarrassed to say so. Lately it seemed like everything was embarrassing him, and he hated that feeling.

"If you were okay with it…?"

She looked at her bed, and saw that it was big enough for both of them to sleep in it. Plus she always got so lonely in this apartment, it was a great one, but it was sometimes just so…sad.

She looked back up at him and nodded "I guess that'll be alright….are we going to ignore what just happened not even 2 hours previous?"

He sighed, running both his hands through his hair. "If you want to….but like I said, does it have to mean anything? When you broke up with me in Lima, that was the most painful thing I've had to go through…literally. And I shot myself…." He laughed awkwardly and cleared his throat "I just, losing you was pretty bad. I just don't want to be committed to anything, so why does this have to mean more than this?"

She stared at him, a little unconvinced, because honestly you couldn't just do this whole 'friends' thing without getting a little emotionally attached. But maybe he was right. And honestly she was too tired to think about it any further.

"I guess you are right…maybe we should just sleep it off…" She said pointing towards the bed.

He nodded "I agree." He said, walking over and pointing at the right side "I take it you still like the left?"

She smiled, yawning and nodding. "Yeah…"

It seemed like that was his signal he needed as he slipped inside the covers, and Rachel followed soon after.

She turned the lights and felt his arm brush up against him. This was going to be really hard, Rachel sighed as she closed her eyes and decided to sleep it off.

0o0

Rachel woke up to an empty side of the bed. Was Finn really going to do that again? But before she could get angry she heard pots and pans banging softly from the kitchen. She reached for her phone and saw that It read '12:30', oh my god…she had slept 9 hours. And she still felt exhausted.

She climbed out of bed, and made her way into the kitchen, she was expecting it to be Kurt, but found Finn standing in front of the stove.

"Damn…" He said as he turned the dials side to side.

"Something wrong?" Rachel asked, making Finn jump

"God you scared me!"

Rachel laughed "Sorry…I just, you look like you are having issues there." She said pointing towards the dials.

He sighed and wiped the sweat from his brow. "How the hell do you get this to work?"

She wanted to laugh again, "You have to turn the electrical switch on the side on…these are really old…"

He watched as she walked over and turned on one small simple button, walked over to where he was standing…his eyes almost glued to her, and watched as she turned the dial causing the flame to finally come out.

"Wow, if I had known that we would have breakfast sitting there already…."

She laughed, but reality hitting her once more.

She cleared her throat and looked over to Kurt's section "Kurt?"

He looked at the direction she was looking at.

"Oh he said he had a really important meeting with this Queen gossip or something. Said he would be back for lunch."

She nodded, she definitely needed to speak to Kurt about Finn. He had known all along that Finn was in town and even scored him his new job, as well as condo….why hadn't he told Rachel? Was he just trying to protect her?...or was it the opposite? He was trying to protect Finn.

She looked over at Finn.

"Um, is that such a good idea?"

He looked down at the stove and shrugged "I cook pretty well…I mean not the best, but I can cook some great eggs."

Rachel looked down and shook her head "No…I meant you doing that? Or whatever the hell we are doing…?"

Finn closed his eyes and shook his head, turning to the oven and turning it off. "It's just breakfast…but I guess I'll leave."

Rachel sighed "No, Finn…it's not like that. I want you to feel comfortable here, but I just…do you think it's healthy for us to be hanging out like this?"

He shrugged "I don't care…." He said walking over and kissing her before she had time to react.

He chucked the towel he had in his hands across the room, and picked Rachel up with one swift move. Making Rachel yelp from surprise, but giggle right after as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

He walked over with Rachel still on him, towards her bedroom, he made sure every few seconds to open his eyes to make sure not to crash into anything.

As he reached her bed, his balance was definitely not helping and he fell towards the bed, making sure to push himself so he fell first and so Rachel wouldn't get crushed.

Clothes came off rather quickly, and before he knew it he had Rachel on top of him, which he wasn't even sure how the hell that happened, it was almost like a dream. And her hands were all over his body. Wow, she really had matured…not just with clothes, but damn it was like she had been wanting to do this for a very long time.

She sat on top of him as he entered her, causing her to arch her back, and his hands running through the middle of her chest, softly cupping her breasts as he went. The view he had…he definitely wasn't complaining.

Rachel wasn't even sure what the hell she was doing, but the moment he kissed her, it was like her heart and mind were doing two completely different things.

"Come with me…." Finn said, hoping that didn't sound too 'relationshipy'. It seemed like Rachel didn't mind and moaned loudly before they both felt that climax, making Rachel fall into his chest.

They laid there for what felt like a really long time, and Rachel's heartbeat was almost matching Finn's.

Finn had his arms wrapped around Rachel. "Do you want me to go?" Finn said, swallowing hard, feeling his throat really dry.

What surprised him was Rachel shook her head no. And he wasn't going to argue.

**TBC…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Rachel couldn't believe what had happened. She did the one thing she didn't want to, but so badly needed to. Her mind and heart were tugging so badly, that her body felt almost exhausted. She let her emotions get the best of her, and now everything seemed to be even worse.

It's not like the sex was bad…it was the exact opposite, but that just made everything much more horrible….now they were what everyone called 'friends with benefits', at least that's what it looked like.

She stared at herself in the mirror of her bathroom, she didn't want to show how emotional she was right now. She didn't want to give Finn that satisfaction.

"Hey Rach…?" the soft knock startled her, making her turn her direction towards the door.

Finn had been a bit worried, she had been in that bathroom for over an hour. Everything seemed fine until she said she had to pee. He sighed as he leaned against the bathroom door, hoping he didn't hear crying. Maybe this wasn't the best idea.

"Yes…?" her little voice came through almost immediately.

"You uh, you okay?"

The silence made him a bit worried, but he sighed as he heard an 'mmmhmm' come again.

"Hey um look I have to go, my shift starts in like 30 minutes, but can I see you before I go?"

Rachel closed her eyes at his request. Why did he need to see her? Couldn't he just leave like a normal guy?

She groaned quietly and exhaled, opening the door to see Finn standing with his arms outstretched.

She smiled shyly and stared at him. "What?" She asked hoping it didn't sound too rude.

But it seemed like Finn just smiled right back at her.

"Nothing…I just wanted to see you….but I guess I should go…?"

Rachel shrugged "Don't you kind of have to?"

He stared at her as she pushed her way past him, and going through her closet.

"Uh yeah….fine." He said realizing she obviously didn't want to talk to him. "Are we okay?" He said hoping that would maybe spark her to talk to him.

She didn't turn around but just nodded, almost rather quickly.

He looked down at the ground as if he were nervous. God why did Rachel have this power over him?

"I'll see you later." He said before turning to walk away.

"Wait…." Rachel said running to catch up to him, which wasn't too far considering her apartment wasn't a mansion.

Finn stopped right at the foot of the door, turning to stare at her. She looked extra small in her overly sized pajama bottoms and sweatshirt.

He nodded for her to continue.

"I don't want this to be how it is…." She blurted.

Finn raised an eyebrow and continued to look at her, he wanted to look away from her gaze, but it was rather impossible.

"What do you mean?" He asked, but he felt like he knew where this was going.

"Just that….I don't want you to sleep with me, get up, have this awkward as hell conversation, and you leave. It's just so weird."

Finn wanted to laugh at how she was almost rambling. But he agreed with her. "Well I feel the same way, I really don't want that either…"

She smiled, this time completely real and it felt like she really meant it, and not because she felt like she had to.

"Then can we please promise…if we…" She looked down, now being the one to feel embarrassed. "If we continue this….whatever it is. That we won't have this weird feeling towards each other."

Finn couldn't help the stupid grin that formed on his face, he tried so hard to hide it, not wanting Rachel to see it, but it was rather hard. She was basically telling him she wanted to sleep with him, but not have all the baggage and weirdness.

"Okay. Well then we won't."

She gulped but nodded "Okay…I just wanted to state that."

He nodded, but the knock on the door made him want to curse whoever was behind it.

Rachel looked from the door to Finn. She smiled once more "Sorry…" She said, running over to open it and her heart almost dropped when she realized it was Brody behind it. 'Fuck…' was all her mind kept repeating over and over. Was the universe out to get her or something?

She didn't need to turn to look at Finn to see that his demeanor changed completely.

Brody stared at both of them, and he sensed the tension.

"Uh hello…" He said hoping that didn't sound weird.

Rachel wanted to close her eyes and not even be in this room right now. He had chosen the worst moment to actually come to her apartment. And the worst timing, if only he would have waited 10 more minutes and Finn would have left.

The silence was deafening.

"Brody…" Rachel said, stating the obvious.

Finn cleared his throat, and stared at Rachel. Almost as if asking if she was going to either ask Finn to leave, which Rachel didn't understand why he was looking at her that way when he had to work, or ask Brody to leave.

Brody seemed to be thinking the same thing.

This was the worst feeling she had had in a very long time. Besides breaking up with Finn.

"You should go…" Rachel said finally speaking up.

Both men just stared at her, she wasn't looking at one in particular, so they weren't sure who she was referring to.

"Brody I mean…" She said looking up finally to stare into Brody's face.

Brody seemed almost shocked and in a way humiliated.

She didn't even need to look at Finn to know he had a smile formed on his lips.

"I guess I'll talk to you later…" Brody said before storming away. Not even bothering to say bye to Finn.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting tha-"

Rachel put her hand up to his face to stop him, which in all fairness didn't really reach his face, more like his midline jaw.

"I only did that because I didn't feel like we were done talking, and out of respect for you…." She said raising an eyebrow at him, but Finn knew there was more to it than that.

"Whatever you say…" He said smiling down at her. "Can I kiss you before I leave?"

Rachel just stared up at him, crossing her arms. God she had been next to him thousands of times, but she felt soooo tiny right now next to him.

She couldn't help chuckle at his request, but she shouldn't be feeling this way, right?

She sighed "Fine…but make it quick?"

"Damn you talk so sexy…"

Rachel laughed, making Finn laugh along with her, bending over and softly placing a small kiss on her lips. He didn't want to overdue it, so he just softly pecked her.

"I should really get going…." He said feeling bad that he had to leave so soon, but he was going to be late if he didn't leave.

Rachel nodded. Watching him walk the last steps to the door, but turned to face her once more.

"Thank you…."

Rachel furrowed her brow, confused as to what he meant by that.

"What?"

He smiled at her confusion "For asking him to leave…."

Rachel smiled shyly and nodded. Because honestly she wasn't even sure what to say to him right now.

He smiled once more before opening the door and waving at her bye.

**TBC….**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Rachel stared at Kurt, his shocked face and mouth hanging open was one of the reasons she didn't want to tell him what had happened in yesterday's events.

"Whoa…back up there a few seconds missy. You mean to tell me that you and Finn…my brother, you slept together? And you talked about it?" He shook his head almost as if he was not comprehending the situation.

"Yes…" Rachel didn't know what else to say because that was the truth.

"I just am…shocked."

Rachel raised an eyebrow "How so?" she knew it was kind of silly asking that question, but she needed to hear him say it.

"Just don't think it's a good idea is all."

Rachel now furrowed her brow, her best friend didn't think it was a good idea…that made her stomach feel uneasy.

"Don't give me that look Rach, I think that's what you knew I was going to say, but not what you wanted to hear. Right?" He asked knowing her all too well.

Rachel sighed and closed her eyes, as she laid her head back to rest on the couch.

She nodded still with her eyes closed "Yeah, I figured that was what you were going to say…just not what I was hoping to hear."

"Do you honestly think it's going to work out, doing the whole 'friends with benefits' deal?"

Rachel stared at the ceiling now, not even sure how to answer that, because honestly she didn't think it would. Finn and her had too much of a past to actually pull off something like this. Plus if she was honest with herself she still had feelings for him. But she couldn't tell Kurt that…although she had a feeling he already knew.

She just puffed her chest up and exhaled loudly "I don't know." Was all she could manage to get out.

She didn't need to look over at Kurt to know he was almost staring at her with pity.

Kurt had explained why he had helped Finn but didn't tell Rachel. Rachel had understood, but he still felt bad about it.

"Well I think that's your answer babe, because if you can't even answer yes or no to that question, than I don't think you even know what you are getting yourself into."

He had a point, and she wasn't going to argue with it. But in a selfish way, she didn't want whatever it was with Finn to be over, and she knew that was wrong of her.

Maybe she should just date Brody and get it over with….but that wasn't what her heart wanted.

"I need to talk to Finn…" Rachel said before standing up and dialing his number.

0o0

"Thanks for coming over so soon after I called you….you weren't too busy I hope."

Finn shook his head, entering her apartment, and placing his bag down on the ground, taking a seat on the couch.

"Nope, just got done with work. Glad you called though….kind of nervous as to what it's about."

Rachel shook her head "No, it's not bad. I just needed answers I guess. This whole thing….us." Rachel said pointing to his direction. "Whatever we are at this point…and I know we have semi-talked about it, but I just really need to make myself clear….is that okay?"

Finn just continued to stare at her, but he nodded in agreement.

"I want to know that if I do end up continuing to sleep with you…and doing this crazy 'friends with benefits' crap, that we aren't going to be putting any sort of anything into the mix. That means you allowing me my freedom, and me yours. We aren't together, so that means I can date someone else, and you can date other people. I also don't want to feel like this is something that we need or have to do, just because of our past. Is that understood?" Rachel said, hoping that didn't sound too bossy or rude. Even though she is known for being sometimes both, Finn knew better.

Finn still staring at her, but this time he didn't nod. He pursed his lips and then licked them. He looked down at his shoes as if he was going to find something there.

"Finn…" Rachel said, trying to get his attention back on the situation. Wasn't he the one who said he didn't want any commitment of any sorts? So why was he looking almost hurt and in a way put off? This was why she hated men, they were all the same. They said one thing, but did another.

He finally raised his gaze to look at her, and sighed "Yes…"

Rachel nodded, but needed to hear him say it. "I need you to say it…"

Finn groaned loudly "Why? I just said yes, isn't that enough?"

Rachel closed her eyes and shook her head "Now you are angry at me? I thought that's what you wanted?"

Finn stood up, now pacing the room. "Yes…but no…"

Rachel narrowed her eyes "What? How does that make sense?"

He sighed "I just didn't realize that you were wanting to see other people…." He said almost in a whisper.

That was why he was upset?

"We aren't anything Finn…we should be allowed to date other people…I thought you understood that?"

"This is about Brody, isn't it?"

Rachel rolled her eyes "No! Why does everything you bring back up revolve around him?" She said loudly.

"Because Rachel, he was the reason I felt like you ended it….yes there was other underlying stuff…but I just don't like him. Plus he gives me the wrong vibes…and if that's who you are referring to as far as dating other people…than I just don't know…"

Rachel groaned "Oh my god…can you please stop acting this way….you are so damn confusing. Look, if you want to sleep with me, or see me anymore…than those are the terms you have to abide by, I won't tell you who I am going to date…at this point there isn't anyone…not that it's any of your business…." She said raising her eyebrow "So are you going to agree, or do we need to call this whole thing off?"

Finn put his hands up, almost in defeat "Fine…." He said rather loudly "I guess I understand…and will abide by your rules."

Rachel nodded "Okay…" She said exhaling.

His little puppy dog face was making her want to take everything back and just say she didn't care about any other guy…but she needed to do this.

Was this the right thing to do though?

**TBC…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Well their plan was going as planned, they were sleeping together almost every night, even Kurt had poked fun at how their sex drive was insane. But it was almost like they were making up for lost time.

Either that or the fact that Rachel felt herself…almost normal when she was with Finn.

"Knock knock…" Finn said, opening the door to the loft.

Kurt looked up, but rolled his eyes "Ugh, you guys seriously disgust me….I'm leaving." He said standing up, patting Finn on the back "She's in the bathroom…" and walking out the door.

Finn just nodded and placed his bag down on the ground in his usual spot. For some weird reason, today felt a little off. Every single night for the past week in a half, he had been coming up here, did his little routine where he would place his bag down, and Rachel would be either sitting in her side of the bed, or on the couch…and they would end up just jumping into bed together

Sure they had their little moments, but Rachel made sure to never let those little moments last, so as to not get emotionally attached, but even Rachel was finding it hard..or at least that's what Finn was getting off of her.

But now here he was standing almost in the doorway, and Rachel was tucked away in the bathroom. He scrunched his nose, and his eyes went wide when he saw Rachel.

She had on the sexiest pair of shorts that came up to her waist, with a really sexy white top that definitely showed off her breasts. He had to do a double take and couldn't help stare at her.

She smiled at his reaction, and ran up to him in full force and jumped on top of him, making him groan at the force. But he had no time to react, she was on him, and attacking his lips. Giving him soft kisses all around his neck and running her hands around his hair.

'Holy crap' was all his mind could say as her hands continued to roam around his body.

He kissed her back, but pushed her off a little "Whoa, what's gotten into you…?" He asked, because even though they had been sleeping together for quite a bit now, she hadn't ever reacted this way, so it definitely caught him off guard…he wasn't complaining but still wanted to know what the reasoning behind it was.

Rachel however didn't seem too amused at his questioning "Who cares why…."

Finn nodded, and felt her hands continue their little journey, now unbuckling his belt, throwing it halfway across the room.

Finn just stared wide eyed at how aggressive she was being. "You sure you're okay?"

Rachel pulled on his shirt, and dragged him to the couch, shoving him down hard, making him grunt once more from the force. His eyes were once again wide eyed, and he was just staring at her, but he couldn't help and stare at her legs.

"You look amazing…"

She licked her lips, and started slowly unbuttoning her shorts, almost in a very seductive way.

Finn felt a huge lump form in his throat, the fact that she was doing this little show for him, and the way she was dressed….and not to mention the way her hair fell on her shoulders, was sooo damn sexy. He felt the bulge tighten hard on his pants and he tried to sit up straight hoping it wasn't too obvious that this was getting him a little riled up.

With one swift motion her shorts were on the ground, and she swung them off of her rather quickly, and it took him a second to realize that she had on a pink thong, making his throat completely dry. God was she trying to kill him?

Finn looked around the room, almost as if someone was going to walk in through those doors at any minute.

But his mind stopped wandering when he saw her walk over to him, she placed one of her knees on the couch right next to him, and slowly straddled him, making his eyes go directly down to her panties, almost teasing him.

She sat down on top of him and kissed his throat, purposefully throwing her hair in his face. She could definitely feel his bulge, and she sat on top of him, making him moan softly as she moved up and down softly.

He closed his eyes and darted his head back, allowing more room for her to continue placing wet kisses all over his neck, and on his jawline.

He opened up his eyes back and brought her attention back to him, as he pulled her in for a kiss. She started pulling his shirt, but Finn shook his head "Babe…whoa, slow…you are going so fast." He said, even though any guy would probably punch him in the face, he didn't want to just fuck Rachel. Even though that's what it was, but it seemed like she was in a hurry.

Rachel just stared at him in shock. "Yes…we have to get this over with." She said placing another soft kiss on his lips, but he pulled her back softly and stared at her.

"What? 'Get this over with?'" He stared not only shocked, but hurt

Rachel closed her eyes. "Finn…come on, don't look so hurt about that. I'm here aren't I?"

He rolled his eyes "Barely…" He said looking her up and down still on his laps.

"What more do you want from me?" She asked slapping her thighs in response.

He sighed "Why are you in such a hurry?" He asked ignoring her question.

She licked her lips and gulped, knowing he wasn't going to like her answer. "I have a date…"

His eyes furrowed almost into slits. "Whoa…way to make a guy not want to be in the mood."

Rachel groaned "Finn…" She said looking at him in the face, putting her hands on his face, making him look at her. "What did you expect? Remember the rules…."

He shook his head, and pushed her off of him, standing up and grabbing the belt off the ground. "I'm going to go…." He said shaking his head.

"Finn!..." Rachel said but she honestly couldn't say anything else, watching as he picked the rest of his stuff up and walked out the door.

**TBC..**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Rachel sat in her bed pondering the events that had gone down within the last hour. Time passed so slowly as she sat by herself in the loft trying to figure out what the hell to do. Finn had left so hurt and upset, and definitely angry, and somehow she was angry at him for being that upset. She knew it was stupid, and anyone would say she was acting a little immature, but she didn't understand Finn, or any guy for that matter.

He said it himself he was okay with it, granted when he said it he didn't sound so enthusiastic about it, but he still said yes. So the fact that he stormed out, barely even wanting to touch her after she said she had a date….it just made her question everything.

"Can I come in now, are you two done yet?"

Rachel looked up to stare at the door, closing her eyes at Kurt's words. Realizing that he had no idea what had happened just an hour ago.

"Kurt! You can come in." Rachel said shifting in her bed.

Rachel had changed into comfy pajama's and put her hair into a messy bun, not wanting to deal with looking halfway decent.

Kurt seemed to still think Rachel was lying, because he only peered his head halfway and with one eye closed, while the other seemed to be scanning the room for evidence of any sexual activity.

"Kurt….he's gone." Rachel said in an exasperated tone.

"Whaa?" Kurt said looking as if he didn't see that one coming.

"Finn's not here…."

"Whoa, that's the shortest timeframe for you two….and yuck I just realized I said that." Kurt said making a disgusted face, and shivering as he pictured his brother and best friend doing it.

She scoffed "It ended before it began…."

Kurt stared at her, and noticed her clothing, and then noticed the look on her face.

"What happened? Did I need to sing 'I told you so?' So soon?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at him. "Don't be so mean and smug about it! I don't want to hear that right now….but I will say that you were right, and I was an idiot."

"Details…." Kurt said waving his arm, watching as she pushed herself over so he could sit right next to her.

"I hurt his feelings…."

Kurt pursed his lips and attempted at an awkward smile "Let me guess: You made him hurry up while you two were getting it on, basically without saying it said he was just a piece of meat, and said you needed to hurry to go on a date?"

Rachel stared at him all too shocked that he knew what happened. And even more shocked when he said pretty much the whole thing.

"How'd you know?"

Kurt sighed, and patted her leg softly "I already got the call from Finn….don't hate me." He said putting his hands in defense.

"Oh my god! So you made me go through all that crap and you being so mean to me, when you already knew?" Rachel said hitting him on the arm.

He chuckled "Sorry….Finn was just faster than you."

Rachel sighed and shook her head. Now looking at him with her most serious face.

"Was he really hurt?"

Kurt wasn't sure how to open up with this question, mainly because he knew she would be upset with the answer, but he figured she already knew.

"Of course he was hurt! Rachel…." He sighed, trying to be as nice as he could "I love you babe, and even though I think this was a bad idea….I have to say, you saying that to him and treating him this way, it's not okay. He was practically in tears….he tries to act tough, but it's freaking Finn for crying out loud!"

Rachel just stared at her best friend, not even sure how to take all that in.

"But he said he was okay with it….."

Kurt shook his head "Of course he would. Again, it's Finn for crying out loud. The guy who pretty much let you go and pursue your dream, the guy who asked you to marry him, and the guy who kissed you while performing to prove how much he loved you. He just wanted to make you happy, but it's killing him because he is still in love with you!"

Kurt took in a deep breath as if he hadn't let it go since he began that speech.

Rachel gulped, feeling a little insecure right now. She wasn't sure how to react to any of this, in a way she kind of figured that was what it was, but it still hurt to hear it…especially coming from Kurt.

"Kurt…."

Kurt sighed once more, before patting her leg again. "Do you care for him at all anymore?"

Rachel opened her mouth but nothing came out. "How can you ask me that?" She finally said, realizing her voice was shaking.

Kurt shrugged "You tell me Rach? You are treating him as if he is just another booty call, and you know it means more when it's Finn."

She shook her head and didn't feel the tear that fell from her cheek. "Of course I love him! But I'm scared!" She saw that Kurt had his eyes a little wider, realizing she was now not only standing up, but she was shouting.

"Scared of what though? To feel happy again?"

Rachel shook her head "No, it's not that….it's to feel this way again for him, and then it all tumble down like it always has."

Kurt stood up, holding her gaze and held her by the shoulders "It's clear that you still care about him too Rach. So just call him, and explain to him what you just told me. He needs to hear it; especially coming from you."

Rachel once again opened her mouth, this time to protest, but Kurt didn't allow her to. "Nope….call him." He said before retreating to his bedroom.

0o0

"Before you hang up, please let me just get this part out…."

Finn closed his eyes as he held his phone out in his hands with the speaker on, and leaned on the wall of his bedroom.

"I'm sorry….what I said and did was not okay…I want to talk to you and explain everything. But I want to do it face to face. So will you please come over so we can talk about it?"

There was a weird silence held in the air for a little bit, but it didn't follow to long after.

Finn stared out the window and hadn't realized how sunny it was, the sunlight danced around the trim of his windowsill making it almost glow.

He turned his attention back to his phone and decided to just go for it.

"If I say yes and agree….am I going to like where it's going?"

Rachel didn't want to answer that, especially over the phone, but she needed to get him over here one way or another.

"Honestly? I have no idea. But I want to talk to you and figure this bull out before we end up not even talking altogether."

"Okay…I'll be there in a few minutes." He said before hanging up on her, not even giving her time to say bye.

He didn't want to continue the conversation on the phone for too long because he wasn't sure what he would say to her, and if they were going to talk he would rather do it in person and get everything he needed out to her face, not to some hunk of junk.

But he wasn't sure he was going to like the outcome either.

**TBC…**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Rachel's heart started pounding as soon as the knock came through her door. The fact she was going to just let all her feelings out to Finn made her so nervous….but she had to get this all out and explain to him everything.

When she slid the door open, Finn's face looked almost contorted almost like he was starting to get sick.

"Hey…." Finn said waving his arm quickly and looking inside, nodding at her as she opened the way for him to come inside.

Rachel led him to the couch where she already had water set out for them, just in case it got a bit awkward or it so happened to be weird…water was always the easiest way to make it less awkward. It was a trick she had learned through living in New York, if it got weird…just have a prop that will help solve that issue; sure enough it always did.

They sat and it almost definitely got as awkward as she had expected, but if she was going to talk to him, she thought she might as well start on a good note.

"I'm sorry…." Rachel said finally breaking the ice.

Finn finally looked her in the eyes, and he noticed a sad glint in her eyes, he wasn't expecting her to apologize and look that sad, so he nodded for her to continue.

"I haven't treated you real fair, and I know that it's partly my fault….but you have to understand Finn I thought that us seeing other people and doing this the way we were doing it was what was healthy in this sort of relationship we've got going on."

Finn scoffed at that and shook his head, making Rachel immediately stop talking.

"What?"

He shook his head once more, that water bottle seemed really tempting to Rachel right now.

"This isn't a 'healthy' anything….you and I know that this thing we've got going on was doomed to fail from the moment we started."

He knew he was being harsh with what he was saying, but it was true.

Rachel bit her lip feeling extremely nervous. "Then why would you agree to it? Or why would you kiss me again when we first saw each other?"

"I didn't say those things to have you do the things you have been doing, I didn't think you would see other people…." He trailed off because he knew he was only saying those things out of anger and hurt, but he technically said it was okay for them to see other people.

"But you said it was okay….you said yes when I gave you the rules to how this would go down…I didn't think it would work out either, but I agreed to the terms and I thought you had too."

Finn ran a hand through his hair and shuffled his feet back and forth.

"Well forgive me for being human and not realizing what those terms truly meant, forgive me for wanting to spend some time with you, and forgive me for actually still caring about you….."

The silence was deafening and Rachel could even hear her stomach gurgle once or twice. So Kurt was right, even though she knew he was, it still took her by surprise as he said it.

"You still have feelings for me?" Rachel said, raising her eyebrows, knowing what was to come.

"It's not that easy Rach….I mean come on, you know how I feel about you, but this whole thing is so damn confusing and the only reason I agreed to anything, was because I knew it would mean getting to spend more time with you….so yes, if you want me to admit it to you…I do still love you."

Finn exhaled and didn't look at Rachel as he dove in for the water, and Rachel felt her smile wanting to push past this tension, mainly because she knew the reason he was grabbing the water was because he was probably as nervous as she was.

"Then why didn't you just say that to me in the first place?"

He once again scoffed and played with the cap, turning it back and forth.

"How was I supposed to? I mean it was pretty obvious but…." He sighed feeling her eyes pouring into him "it just seemed so scary to actually say those words."

She placed her hand on top of his and noticed how he froze from the touch, letting her softly thumb her fingers back and forth against his skin.

"I care about you Finn, more than I am allowing myself, and I truly want a relationship with you…" Finn raised his head at her words, her hand still caressing his arm "I am not sure where we are going to be years from now, hell even weeks from now, but I know how I feel for you….and I just needed to know that you felt the same way."

Finn licked his lips, not expecting that answer but continuing to stare at her.

"What does this mean?" Finn needed to know where this was headed.

"Does it have to mean anything?" Rachel said, but instantly started to laugh given that that was exactly what Finn had said when he first kissed her.

He chuckled along with her.

"In all seriousness Finn, I guess it just means that maybe we should start from scratch….I'm not sure we should call each other boyfriend and girlfriend….just yet, mainly because I don't want to make any mistakes like we've done in the past and rush it, so for now let's just say we aren't seeing anyone else but we aren't together-together."

He smiled finally, feeling the weight slowly leave his shoulders.

"Are you sure?" He asked, mostly because he didn't want her to just be doing this out of anything but her truly wanting to start something new with him.

"Yes, I don't want to lose you again Finn."

He took this time to wrap his arm that she had been touching around her and pull her in for a hug. Rachel meanwhile took her arms and wrapped them around his chest and lifting her head that was resting on his chest up to stare at him.

Finn could smell the vanilla scent she had on, and he wasn't sure if it was coming from her shampoo or chapstick but it was definitely one of his favorite smells, he took this time to look down at her and slowly place his lips on hers.

She knew it was a beginning of something that was definitely going to be better than anything they had before, and she knew it was because they were older and more mature which definitely gave them more of a shot at being happy.

0o0

The knock startled Finn, making rub circles around his eyes, he wasn't aware of the time and realized that Rachel had said something last night about going the next morning to a really important dance class, so it must be morning.

The knock persisted and it was actually starting to irritate him, he looked down noting he didn't even have underwear on, he forgot Rachel had borrowed his boxers last night after they slept together to get some water and never returned them.

He sighed as he needed to find something to put on, so he walked over and looked down at the only decent thing he could find in her closet and put on a white bathrobe, definitely not flattering but at this moment he didn't give a crap.

His eyes had to do a double take when he realized the person standing behind that doorway when he opened the door was Brody.

Brody stared at Finn up and down, almost wanting to laugh at the scene in front of him, but then realizing what that meant and continuing to just stare at Finn.

"Finn…."

"Brody…."

Both men seemed to want to say something to the other but kept quiet.

"Wow, not very flattering eh?" Brody said giving him a huge grin.

"Oh I'm sorry donkey face, but uh I didn't realize that someone that looks like they should be in a playboy magazine…and definitely not in the good way, could insult me."

Brody glared at Finn and raised his eyebrow at the few insults he spat at him.

"Where's Rachel?" Brody asked ignoring the blatant insults.

"She's not here…and maybe you shouldn't be coming around here any longer…."

Brody chortled and crossed his arms "Whose going to stop me? You?"

Finn laughed "Oh yes….stay away from her, is that understood?"

Brody continued to stare at him as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Oh trust me, I'm not going anywhere…but uh, I'll go…I mainly wanted to return her panties she left at my place the other night…."

Finn felt his neck start to sweat and he did the only thing that he could think of and felt his hand instantly go numb as soon as his fist Brody's jaw.

Brody fell back into the wall, he almost fell but he grabbed onto the wall, and immediately grabbed ahold of his jaw, feeling the intense pain shoot through him almost instantly.

He wanted to punch Finn back, but he knew that right now it was best to leave it be, not to mention Kurt had just arrived seconds before he had the time to make his decision.

Finn was holding his hand and staring at Brody as if he wanted to continue to punch him.

"Uhh am I interrupting?" Kurt asked, knowing it was a dumb question but he sensed something bad had just happened and saw Brody touching his cheek.

"Nothing…." Brody spat and left in a hurry, not even saying hi to Kurt, but leaving within seconds.

Kurt just stood in the hallway staring at an oversized Finn with a not so flattering robe on that seemed 2 sizes too small…but somehow pulled it off, but he was holding onto his hand….and Kurt put 2 and 2 together.

"You punched him…."

Finn just shook his head "Don't Kurt, I know what you are going to say…just don't."

Kurt put his hands up "not saying anything….you know Rachel's going to be super pissed right?"

With that last word, Kurt followed Finn into the loft and shut the door, but Finn knew that Rachel definitely wasn't going to like the fact that they just had a great talk and already he was punching guys.

**TBC….**


End file.
